Better version of me

Yesterday I gave my podcasts a rest (okay, I forgot to update) and listened to my music again. I haven't listened to music in about a month because I've had the same songs for over a year playing over and over in my ear. It's gotten to the point where I can't even HEAR them anymore, like the refrigerator hum in the background that you never even realized was there until it turned back on after a power outage. Ok, bad analogy, but you get what I mean I hope. Anyway, one thing you should know about me is that I absolutely, positively LOVE Fiona Apple. It got to be nearly a religion in high school and college... hence the tattoo, but I digress. Even though I've gotten a life, she's still my favorite artist, and yesterday I could finally hear her songs again and was bowled over yet again by her lyrics. So if you don't listen to Fiona Apple, or were turned of by the hype in the mid-'90s, then here's why you need to think again:

"Better Version Of Me"
from "Extraordinary Machine"

The nickel dropped
When I was on
My way beyond
The Rubicon*
What did I do

And of the games that I can handle
None are ones worth the candle
What can I do

I'm a frightened, fickle person
Fighting, cryin', kickin', cursin'
What should I do

Oooh, after all the folderol,
And hauling over coals stops
What will I do

Can't take a good day without a bad one
Don't feel just to smile until I've had one
Where did I learn

I make a fuss about a little thing
The rhyme is losing to the riddling
Where's the turn

I don't want a home, I'd ruin that
Home is where my habits have a habitat
Why give it a turn

Oh, after all the folderol
And hauling over coals stops
What did I learn

I am likely to miss the main event
If I stop to cry or complain again
So I will keep a deliberate pace
Let the damned breeze dry my face

Oh, mister, wait until you see
What I'm gonna be

I've got a plan, a demand and it just began
And if you're right, you'll agree

Here's coming a better version of me
Here it comes a better version of me
Here it comes a better version of me

*"crossing the Rubicon" means the point of no return in a decision.

This poem is actually a title in and of itself. It is the title of her second album (2000?), and the in the Guiness Book of World Records for the longst album title.

When the pawn hits the conflict he thinks like a king
What he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight
And he'll win the whole thing 'fore he enters the ring
There's no body to batter when your mind is your might
So when you go solo you hold your own hand
And remember that depth is the greatest of heights
And if you know where you stand then you know where to land
And if you fall it won't matter cuz you'll know that you're right.

"Extraordinary Machine"
from album "Extraordinary Machine"

I certainly haven't been shopping for any new shoes
-And-
I certainly haven't been spreading myself around
I still only travel by foot and by foot, it's a slow climb,
But I'm good at being uncomfortable, so
I can't stop changing all the time

I notice that my opponent is always on the go
-And-
Won't go slow, so's not to focus, and I notice
He'll hitch a ride with any guide, as long as
They go fast from whence he came
- But he's no good at being uncomfortable, so
He can't stop staying exactly the same

If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine

I seem to you to seek a new disaster every day
You deem me due to clean my view and be at piece and lay
I mean to prove I mean to move in my own way, and say,
I've been getting along for long before you came into the play

I am the baby of the family, it happens, so
- Everybody cares and wears the sheeps' clothes
While they chaperone
Curious, you looking down your nose at me, while you appease
- Courteous, to try and help - but let me set your
Mind at ease

(Chorus)

-Do I so worry you, you need to hurry to my side?
-It's very kind
But it's to no avail; I don't want the bail
I promise you, everything will be just fine

If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine

I sang Extraordinary Machine over and over to myself in my first marathon and it got me through. It holds a special place in my heart. If you don't like it the first time you listen, listen again... sometimes you won't like it till the 10th time, but you will.