Get in a cave and throw things.

This weekend is the last event in my travel/visitor marathon. It all started at the end of March when I went back to Boston, then I was back for 3 days and Lorraine came, that took some recuperation and then I was back on the wagon for about a week before my brother and James came in the same weekend and James wound up staying for 12 days. This weekend it's off to Ireland to see my family. I'm excited to see my family, but I'm less than thrilled about Ireland. My brother's been studying in London and my parents wanted to see us in Europe before my brother left, but they'd already seen London and Barcelona. "Let's go somewhere new," my mom said. And it was. In January Dad sent a list of possible destinations. I responded, "Anywhere except Sicily (I don't like Italy, or Italians - Italian-Americans are fine, I am one, it's the REAL Italians that bug me) or Ireland," I said. In January he send out an email saying, "We're going to Ireland!" Damn.

It's not that I hate to travel. And it's definitely not that I hate visitors. It's that I don't deal well with disruptions. I really, really, REALLY like routine. I love planning out my day and seeing how well it all turns out when it goes exactly according to plan. I like knowing where and when I'll eat, where I'll go, and exactly what my workout will be. I feel safe and happy when I'm in control. Am I type A or what? Anyway, when friends come, or I get dragged away, there are too many things I can't control. Trying to maintain a normal life when someone's visiting is like trying to collate in the wind. I get anxious and depressed. I give up. I drink. Sometimes, depending on the guest, I smoke. I convince myself that I'm a failure. Deep inside I look like this (right) while my adoring friends (left) are none the wiser to my plans to kill them in their sleep:
It makes me just want to crawl into a cave and crouch at the mouth of my lair with a pile of rocks. When someone passes my cave I will throw a rock at them and scream, "Leave me the f%&# alone!" That's what I'm doing on the inside. On the outside I'm going out to dinner and taking photos next to public monuments. I can't wait to have my life back! It's been so long that I don't even remember what it was like to have control over my own time.

Let's all breathe a sigh of relief, life is back on Monday.